I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
