I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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