I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Randomize
