he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
