All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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