she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize