I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
