It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
