I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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