I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
