There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
