She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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