Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
