we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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