woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
