You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
