maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
