i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
