He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize