epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
