I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
