Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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