Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
