hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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