yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
