I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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