we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize