I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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