Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize