Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
