i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize