dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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