Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize