last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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