I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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