I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize