We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
