Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
True strength comes from lack of pants
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
