Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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