Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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