I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
