i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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