I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
