Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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