after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize