I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
