i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
