I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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