He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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