You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
