He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
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