Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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