I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
