nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
