I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
