Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
