And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
