Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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