We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize