Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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