You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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