His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
